Sunday, May 22, 2011
problems are overwhelming me in both my guardian's family and my "mom's" side.
i felt so alone, i needed someone to talk to, i needed a shoulder to cry on.
this pain is killing me inside and i want to runaway.
i'm sick and tired of putting on a mask wherever i go, trying to be happy when i don't.
So what if i'm 18?
Even an 81 year old granny needs some love.
This world is freaking me out,
nobody loves, nobody cares.
why is it so hard, to find someone who really love you for who you are?
I'm jealous of children with parents,
i'm jealous when they have someone to celebrate their birthdays with.
What about me?
Every year, it' just me and my friends celebrating my birthday!
Do you even know the pain is killing me every single year, on my birthday
it's not that i'm blaming you mom,
is that i miss you too much that i want to give up,
i want to give up hoping that one day you'll return!
yeah, people may think new iphone4, new laptop , newest gadgets meant love,
but other than gadgets and money,
what else could you give me?
love? care?
that's completely out of the question,
i've already got lots of problems, and STOP creating more troubles for me will you?
i miss school, i want to go school, where all my friends and mentors are,
where only them, can make me smile.
don't you think that it's funny that even friends and mentors could bring me joy,
but not you!
I want to hide, i want to hide somewhere where no one could ever find me,
just me, my puppy dog , and God.
VIDEO
Labels: Game Over
♥our lips must always be sealed
Saturday, May 21, 2011
During sleepless nights,
i pretend that the past isn't real.
It brings back, how i used to feel.
So much sadness in my hopeless nights,
I'd never knew things would change so fast.
You're not here , and i'm alone.
Trying to runaway, from this pain that has grown.
i feel so empty, as you only belong in my dreams , not reality.
There's so much crying, i feel like dying.
This one is for you,
and these words aren't brand new.
Though it's coming from the heart..
Thank you for the life , you've given me.
Thank you for the hope,i'm finally free...
You'll always be in my mind.
I never will forget you,
as you hold the biggest part of my heart.
But i can't go on without you.
I hope this wish will come true..
During sleepless nights, and endless dreams...
These words inside my heart,
Stay in there till we're apart.
Feel these tears coming in my eyes.
i try not to cry , i'll try.
this shooting pain in my eyes,
can't hold it anymore....
You're gone, You were never here..
Now i'm colder than the ocean breeze
Now, you're too far gone.
Please , come back for me.
I promised myself , i would not cry.
Then a silent tear falls from my eye.
You're the only place, i can put myself.
No hopes or dreams, can fill my tumbling days,
ever since you're gone.
Day after day,
I hear your voice,
if i see you next to never,
how can we say forever?
Wherever you go,
I will be right here waiting for you, to come back for me.
And how my heart breaks,
i'll still be waiting for you.
I hear the laughter, i taste the tears.
I wonder how we can survive, this life.
But in the end,if you'll come back for me,
i'll treasure every single moment,
i wonder for a moment,
if this is all a dream,
to watch you leaving,
is to know that, i've lost my place on this Earth.
I will one day have to let you go,
You'll be in my heart forever.
I will say goodbye to you,
But not forever,
Only for now.
I Love You, Mom<3
VIDEO
♥our lips must always be sealed
Monday, May 9, 2011
Hey people, yesterday was Mother's Day,
but it dosen't seemed to be a Happy one.
On saturday, i baked a cake for my mom,(the above pic)
I was so eager to show my mom my first piece of work,
however things didn't seem to be what i wanted it to be.
I haad a tiff with my mom because i wrote a "Fuck You" on facebook,
but i wasn't refering to her.
She said before i ever posted the word, i didn't thought about her feelings,
as her friends on facebook could see what i write, and this is a disgrace to her.
i seriously don't think that it is very wrong to write on facebook as the facebook says,
"What's on your mind?"
In addition, my mom says the "F" word infront of me like for a thousand times,
and yet she can say, but why i can't?
there's no such thing as you're older, therefore you're allowed to say it, and i'm younger and i can't say it.
But the saddest thing is, she took away my pride that day.
Like it's being said,
Someone take away your pride from you,
it dosen't mean anything to them,
wheareas it means so much to you.
Then there she goes by saying how bloody great her own daughter is,
and ya, whatever, i know i can't be compared to that daughter of hers.
I treat her like gold, she treat me like grass.
oh please! i've had enough, fancy saying that you're my favourite ,seems so totally wrong,
you're not fit to be my favourite person , mom!
My mom is so much better than you!
I'm just nothing to you, your daughter is always the best.
I'm forever nothing to you!
VIDEO
♥our lips must always be sealed
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Hey people,
Today , i'm going to talk to you about my dream.
My dream is HUGE!
people often used to say,:"whey! why your bubble so big?"*pop*"
But to me,
it's my dream, not theirs,
i'm going to live my own dream, not them.
My dream is to become a well -known chef,
both in culinary and pastry & Baking.
Creating new recepies is going to be my goal,
however, wanting to be an executive chef is my ultimate goal.
yeah, i do agree, i may be so playful at times,
but thats just one side of me,
i'm going to be somebody one day.
someone, who can create a miracle in her own life.
i ain't gonna let people look down on me,
i'm gonna show them what i'm worth!
Wanting to be a chef, is my passion since i was in primary school.
i occasionally tries out how to create bento boxes out of my own imagination,
spending most of my money on kitchen tools and recepie books when all the teenagers out there would rather spend their money on something else.
My dream is the reason why ,
even how physically tired i am,
i'll still jump out of bed early in the morning ,
with a broad smile on your face ,
and all that i hope,
is to absorb what chef lynn has taught me in class and put into use in future.
It's indeed true what Justin Bieber has said:
"There's gonna be times when people tell you, that you can't live your dreams,
This Is What I Tell Them , NEVER SAY NEVER!"
YEAH!!! I WILL NEVER SAY NEVER!!!!!!! *ROAR*
VIDEO
Labels: I was born to be somebody
♥our lips must always be sealed
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Today I'm going to talk to you about my favorite person, and that person is no other than my mom.
Why my mom would be my favorite person,
is because my mom is the one who carries me in her for the entire 9 whole months.
she's the one who shields me and protects me from this scary world.
This 18 years of my life,
without fail, my mom would sit right at the side of my bed ,
under that yellow moon shaped light every night,
just to see me fall asleep.
During the lowest times of my everyday life,
my mom would always be there to dry my tears away,
wrap me in her arms, and tell me "everything's gonna be okay darling, i love you"
These words coming out from her mouth sure is one thing that motivates me to keep moving on ,and do not dwell on setbacks.
My mom is a strong woman,
this 18 years,
she's been carrying overwhelming anxiety in her,
that no one , other than me could feel the way she does.
despite the heartaches she has to face every single day of her life,
she still stand strong and brave,
facing each and everyday , hoping there will be a miracle.
Every single day,
i would wait for her to return,
hopefully one day she'll pass through that door.
Without my mom,
i wouldn't be here ,to tell u how great my mom is,
for she is the one who gave me life,
and that's what i'm most grateful of.
VIDEO
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♥our lips must always be sealed
Friday, November 12, 2010
WOW! Finally i have the time to update my blog..
hmm okay la actually.. not as long as i thought ...
haha...
Recently, i find yself messaing you lesser...
So i decided not to disturb you...
hais... but sms-ing you lesser dosen't mean i'm loving you lesser,
infact, day by day...it is growing stronger~
Im trying to endure....
Gonna flood mysef with work~
Labels: I Need You
♥our lips must always be sealed
Friday, November 5, 2010
Hey, back to posting...
Just came back from a Birthday dinner over @ Paramount ....
Ate mountains of food, but end up throwing all up after i got home...
today, i missed you 99.99%....
the other 0.01% was left for u to miss me...
but i know you won't...
Cauz all that is in your heart n soul is her...
toorrow night, i'm leaving to malacca...
how i wish i will recieve a message from you..
hais...but anws...
do check your fcebook inbox...
i've left a message for you..
how i wish you will turn in to my blog,
and see the posts i've written for you...
now it's alr 11.25p.m..
it is pratically 1 day & 35 mins to your birthday...
I can't wish you on the dot, but i can aways be early...
last year, before my birthday ,
you told me that you would be the first to wish me a Happy Birthday..
and you really did it...!
even Joy tat was beside me , failed to do so....
I'm very infuriated ..... i cant be the first to wish u Happy Birthday...
But even i was able to do it... to you it's just a birthday text like all your normal friends does...
it dosent make any difference...
i bet if she were to send u a message....
even if she was the last to wish you,
you will still be so happy...
I wish you knew,
how much i miss you, need you, want you...
Labels: I Need You So Much Closer
♥our lips must always be sealed
Sunday, May 22, 2011
3:46 AM
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